Don’t be afraid to offend men! Unless of course, you’re deliberately being critical or mean.
There’s a little blind spot for feminine women in dating, and that’s the act of projecting.
Projecting as in…we are sensitive souls. We thrive and grow through praise.
So we assume that if someone bantered to us with a seemingly negative comment (that is actually just playfulness), then they must hate us and that they are a horrible person.
Remember, Men Aren’t As Easily Offended As You Are!
Men who have had healthy masculine role models and influences simply aren’t that easily offended, if at all!
The masculine thrives on challenge! Whereas the feminine thrives on praise.
This feminine bias in mindset means that we assume that even playful banter can mean horrible things, which is not true.
(If you’re grown up with lots of brothers, you are probably already somewhat desensitised or even “acclimatised” to playful banter).
Men, unless they are pansies, usually grow up challenging each other.
(I use the word pansies to describe men who think more like women, which is the definition of the word. I do not mean it as an insult!)
See, it’s not uncommon to hear men use words like “pathetic” and “loser” in their banter to other men.
In fact, so many women have been using this one special phrase that I teach to my members, (a form of banter) to get any man’s undivided attention…
And this phrase is not intuitive for women, but it makes so much sense to men!
Check out what that phrase is here.
Why It’s High Value To Use Playful Banter With Men
So, it’s ok. You’re doing yourself a huge favour by bantering with men.
Even if you are seemingly challenging them or using words that might seem insulting. It’s all about your intent.
It’s banter. Not a game of insulting random men on dating apps.
The high value men can handle it.
High value banter helps you eliminate the wrong kinds of men.
Narcissists and abusers cannot handle such banter, and this is why we teach this method; so that you can quickly eliminate them online.
The other reason why high value banter is so useful, is because it helps you quickly identify which men are there with the intention of attuning to you.
Men who are only dating online to pass the time, to get attention, or to play women, will not be able to handle this high value banter.
So, again, do not be afraid to use banter!
Because as a single woman dating, your task is not just to find and keep a man.
That’s your bias as a woman: to try to keep and attach to people, or at the very least, the interactions you have with them.
But that isn’t your only task.
Your task is first and foremost, to eliminate the wrong men, especially in online dating.
We as women tend to not want to lose people. Even if they’re crappy people. But that doesn’t serve us.
Instead, we must cultivate the strength to eliminate the wrong men.
It serves us to eliminate the weak ones, and be proud that we have that ability and awareness to do so quickly.
Don’t Make The Mistake of Trying To Just Be “Feminine” All The Time
I know there’s this culture out there of trying to be “feminine” all the time and not ever risking looking “masculine”.
This kind of advice is moreso for women who really don’t have any relationship with their feminine energy.
If you feel like this is you, I have an article on this for you: How To Be More Feminine: 18 Ways Of A Soft, Feminine Woman.
If you already have a somewhat healthy relationship with your feminine, then you’re free to explore the masculine side of the world.
It really is ok to have more than one part to you. Feminine is not all you are.
In fact, remember when you were growing up, you, or many of your girlfriends may have explored a tomboy side of them.
That was healthy and a part of growing up.
(In fact, the tomboy is one of the 8 feminine roles that allure and attract men. And we teach about this in one of our Attraction Control Monthly volumes.)
Learn more about how to use the 17 attraction triggers to get a man’s blood boiling uncontrollably here.
More than 10 years ago when I started The Feminine Woman blog, I also got a little over excited about “feminine” energy, and thought I had to be that all. the. time.
Thankfully, I’ve grown more aware and more relaxed. More importantly, more appreciative of my ability to explore the masculine.
And what freedom that has given me!
Try The Dark Feminine Art Of High Value Banter For Yourself
So, don’t be afraid to offend men. My husband D. Shen (who is my co teacher and co creator of our programs), will tell you.
In fact, he has a free class on the Dark Feminine Art of High Value Banter. I think you should take it sometime (the class is right here).
It’s been a total game changer for many women, and it will help you sort through the trash that is in the pool of online dating.
If you want to be supported by a warm community of high value feminine women, then join our Facebook Group. (It’s free and so incredibly valuable!) CLICK HERE TO join thousands of other women in our “High Value Feminine Women” Community.
By the way, while you’re at it, connect with me on social media.
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