Here’s a great question from my facebook group for high value feminine women regarding the apparent inequality between women and men in dating.
Where, before even having a first date, men can state their intentions for casual no-strings-attached sex, but seemingly, women cannot state their intent for something long-term (ie: commitment from a man) before a first date?
(Read my article on How To Go From Self Sufficient Single To Connected Couple?)
It’s OK For Men To State Their Desire For Casual Sex But Not OK For Women To State THIS?
Here’s a screenshot of the lovely lady’s question…
“Ok so honest dating question that I think is worth discussing. Why is it that a man laying out his intentions for sex is seen as casual and not an issue but it’s considered putting yourself out there too fast if as a woman you layout your intention for a LTR and marriage?
You’re not saying that you’re looking to tie the knot on the 2nd date, just that your ultimate destination and intention is something serious. So why is it seen as such a bad thing to say, ie don’t mention a relationship or marriage too soon or you’ll “scare him away”… REALLY?
But it’s perfectly normal for him to mention sex, bringing you home to his place, and more.
I feel like that’s a huge disparity and problem. I feel that as much as women have “progressed” in society career-wise and having more options and “sexual freedom” it has also created a dynamic where men feel that they no longer have to work, court, or build a foundation with us.
Honestly, I love femininity, but I hate feminism because it really feels like it has done more to empower and make things easier for men than it has for women.
Women’s power and success is measured on a scale of “if a man/men can do it so can I”. Be as much like a man as possible because that is what it means to be a successful empowered woman.
I.e, big corporate job with a board position = success, stay home and raise family = fail; open yourself up sexually and to as much variety of men as possible = empowering, be selective and wait until you have the emotional commitment and shared values before you take that step = prude and disempowered.
I know I touched on a lot here but I am curious what your thoughts are on all of this?”
To Answer These Questions, We Have To Get Political…
I love your questions, and thanks for asking good questions. But I have a feeling some of the ladies here won’t like my answers, because answering your questions necessitates political commentary…I fear I’m opening up a can of worms here, but the truth is the truth.
What Is The Real Reason The Feminism Movement Happened?
Feminism: the “idea” or the popular propaganda is that our ancestors fought for women’s rights. The truth may be more something along these lines:
They were encouraged through government propaganda (that infiltrated our schools and society) to “fight” for their rights, because the introduction of the feminist movement facilitates the tearing down of our society and the family unit.
Ie: if you have a whole society of mothers at work and not at home, then they can’t focus on family as much.
Casual Sex Corrupts Young Women
As for the casual sex mantra….
Casual sex has been around for eons, and some women will always gravitate towards it because that’s what they do.
But the idea that it’s “cool” is to again, corrupt young women, and make them focus less on their gut and desire for a family, and more on hedonism and fitting in. (Even if the cost is that we feel bad afterwards).
As I’ve said before in my articles…
When the family is broken down, people have to rely more on the government and trust more in their government.
When people do that, power is transferred slowly over a few generations, to the government and not to the people.
(Reliant population equals a disempowered population).
Men DO Pay A Price For This Up Front Behaviour…
Now for your questions re: why is it ok for men to state their needs for sex.
Because for them, they’re taking care of women by being “honest”.
But the truth is that it’s not really “ok” for them to state those intentions, as there are PLENTY of women who are fed up with coming across men like that.
(And by the way, for any high value woman looking for commitment, a man leading with this intention for something casual usually backfires on him anyway.)
This is because it’s off-putting!
It doesn’t benefit both of you, it doesn’t connect man and woman, it simply states “I want”, “I want”, “I want”.
So it’s not like men get away without without costs. In fact, the men who string women along are often the ones we see as “the bad guys”.
So in a guy’s mind, they’re probably doing the right thing, by making sure you know his intent, and by making sure you don’t latch onto him for a relationship and cause him a headache.
Why Can’t Women State Their Intent For A Long Term Commitment?
As for the idea that women shouldn’t state their intent for a commitment:
Well I’ll answer based on OUR values and teachings.
It’s not bad to say you want that. But when you LEAD with that and feel the need to state it to every man you meet before anything else, then what happens is that it can usurp the process of building that ever so important connection and attraction, which leads to creating a pair bond.
It’s not that we want women to avoid talking about it. It’s about acknowledging this truth.
You can do it if you feel the need to, but if you truly want a true emotional commitment, better not to LEAD with that due to your past hurts, fear, or frustration towards men.
After all, people don’t fall in love and form a pair bond that way!
Just for the record, with the world the way it is, I’ve never revelled in my stay-at-home mum job as much as I have now.
I know my 3 sons are part of the future as are millions of other children, and don’t worry ladies…they won’t be the weak men you see so much of these days.
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